Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
