were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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