i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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