im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
