I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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