i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
