My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize