I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
