so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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