Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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