ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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