wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
