And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
