NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
