i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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