I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
