is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
is it fun? or sober?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
