I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
