i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
