she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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