About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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