I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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