Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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