You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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