I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize