cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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