i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
