i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize