If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
