if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize