we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dick very happy bro
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
