No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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