She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
