did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
