im drinking this country out of the recession.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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