the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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