Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
