To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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