Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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