plz talk dirty to me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
