he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I have post one night stand depression
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