When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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