Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
