Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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