you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
