I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're hate flirting, damnit.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
