ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Enjoy the penises
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
