wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
