Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
