At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
