So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
