respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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