does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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