similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
