I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
