gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
