maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
