i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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