you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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