you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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