Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
