I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
