If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
