Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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