I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
